Oh! The humanity!

You have been looking a little blue lately. At first I thought, hypothermia. But your condition has gone on too long to be that, and besides, your core temperature is normal. Further observation strongly suggests that the cause of your cyanosis is clinical depression. You need emergency cheering up.

My first thought was to buy you a happy mylar balloon. Always does the trick. I faced a problem though. Namely, how would I get it to you? There was no way. At least not physically. Neither of us exist. But, despite that obstacle, perhaps there was a way…

The Plan: find a cheerful balloon at the flower display in Ralph’s Fine Foods, take a photo of it and post the picture here, right here on the Web.

I am a man of action. With me, to think is to do. I sprinted right over to the nearest Ralph’s and spotted a really nice monkey balloon. LOOK!

The goat-footed balloon man whistled far and wee.Ah. I can tell by your merry whistling that your mood has improved. It’s tuneless and annoying, but better than the baying like a hound with which you’ve disturbed the sleep of your neighbors these many days past. If it slips into a minor key, or stops altogether, I will post another, more potent seratonin reuptake inhibitor: a photo of a mylar Spongebob.


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