While marching around the neighborhood as part of an effort to reduce my carbon (and every other element) footprint, I noted this sign attached to the barrier protecting one of our more timorous neighbors.
DOG ON DUTY
On duty, my Aunt Fanny! That dog is drunk! You can see it plainly in his hooded eyes and in his foolish grin!
Good thing the man cowering inside the compound put his entire trust in neither that easily scalable iron gate nor in the shamefully wasted guard dog. A sign announced a third tier of security, this one more convincing — Armed Response! — otherwise I would certainly have helped myself to one of his lawn ornaments. The concrete goose, I think.