Ve go to der Moofies: Der Reader

Es ist ein Schtinker.Liebe Penthaus Sexyposten:

I vould neffer thought I vould write you about dis kind of tink, but I got to tell you about dis sexy old Frau I hat such gut times vith.

Here iss how it vent: It vas lonk ago in 1958. I vas tin-hager. Vun day dis sexy old Frau says to me, “Hi, kinder, if you get me eine bucket uf coal, I giff you big zurprise.” I think, vat de heck. Zo. I get de bucket uf coal und haul it up to die sexy Frau’s apartment.

Ven I get dere, all svetty und schtinky, die Frau say, “Ach! Look at you! You haff die schmutt on your schnozz! Take hoff all die clothes und git in die bafftub vit me!” Vell, vot can a boy do? I take off die clothes und ve take baff all barenaked togezzer. After dot I go to see sexy old Frau effrey day after school. I say to her, “Ach, finally dere is sometink I can do vell — er, vell, two tinks.”

Vun day I say to sexy old Frau, “Hi, vott iss your name, sexy old Frau?” She say, “Who iss askink?” Und I say, “Me, Fritzie!” Und she says, “Vell… hokay. I tell you, Fritzie. My name iss Ilsa She-Volf.” I say, “Hokay, She-Volf.”

Vun day I look in She-Volf’s drawer und see all dese bits uff KOLD, und I say, “Hi, She-Volf. Vott are all dese bits uff KOLD.” Und she say, “Err… vell… I vass a dental-hygienist vonce. Dose are meine tips.” She-Volf now a bit ankry vith me.

Vun day I look in She-Volf’s valk-in closet und see all diss priceless artverk, und I say, “Hi, She-Volf. How come you haff all dis priceless artverk?” Und she say, “Err… vell… I vass once a Museumkurator. Dose are meine tips.” She-Volf now FERY ankry vith me.

Finally, vun day I am valking — vell, runnink! — up die stairs to zee She-Volf und I hear somevun knocking at her door. I schtop und listen. Den I hear, “Hallo! Iss de deliffery boy. I haff die Chinese Food for Frau She-Volf!” Den I hear her say, “Ach! Look at you! You haff die schmutt on your schnozz!”

O, Penthaus Sexyposten! Vot can I do to vin her back? I am back to die VUN tink I vas gut at!


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