You’ve Got Me Under Your Skin, Redux

Here’s a re-post of a, well, post I did back in May of last year in a fey mood — a giggle fit, if you will — never expecting anyone to see it besides the handful of people I like to keep amused because it calms their rages. Far less did I expect some hapless souls to actually seek the site while gleaning information regarding tattoos, but it so befell. Mea culpa, hapless souls, you will find nothing here but chuckles, grins and merriment; no body art save for the idiot muskrat on my trapezius.

Today Nice Work inaugurates a spanking new business venture:

Atherton Tattoos!

An Atherton on Your Body is Better Than Spikenard!
The entire Nice Work body of work oeuvre is now available for your prison, gang, armed forces or piratical identity needs! We’ve been practicing off and on for, oh, a month with a sharpened knitting needle and Pelikan™ Blue Fountain Pen ink and we’re pretty sure that we can provide you with some accurate reproductions of Kevin Atherton’s fine illustration on any sufficiently broad, hairless and numbed expanse of your skin.

How Do You Get an Atherton Tattoo?

It’s easy! All you need to do is flip through the ATHERTONPIX CATALOGUE of Kevin’s many droll drawings and, with trembling finger, point mutely at which of his creations you’d like to take with you to your grave.

Who Will Touch You?

Nice Work‘s stable of tattoo artists have has been culled with ruthless severity from the thousands of applicants who answered our ad in Soldier of Fortune. Under the expert supervision of Vician Placement Services, they’ve been carefully rehabilitated, detoxified, trained in rudimentary social skills, washed, shaven, dressed and unchained to give you the finest tats available this side of three inch plexiglass.

Can a Tattoo Ever Be Deleted?

Some of you, the timid minority, balk at the permanence of body art. We at Nice Work are more than happy to address your concerns. “Are we stuck with our tattoo forever?” you ask. “Suppose we change our minds. Can the image be removed?” you further ask. You tug at our sleeves. You follow us around. You blubber and babble incoherently. We turn abruptly and bark, “Be rid of your tattoo, sir? Change your skin, madam? Why, become a Hindu, if you are not one already, you importunate wretch! Then in your next life you can come back as unmarked as a hen’s egg, for all I care. Now good day to you!”

Our rates are competitive. Our back room is dim and hosed down weekly.

Call Atherton Tattoos today!

Put an Atherton on me right away, please!

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s